


The Hardest Part

by romanticalgirl



Series: Saving Grace [3]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 11:45:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living alone</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hardest Part

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://shoshannagold.livejournal.com/profile)[**shoshannagold**](http://shoshannagold.livejournal.com/) asked for something from Nate's POV from the series with [The Easy Part's Over Now](http://romanticalgirl.livejournal.com/762609.html) and [Domestic Bliss](http://romanticalgirl.livejournal.com/768524.html). Happy Birthday!
> 
> Originally posted 8-12-09

Nate takes Grace to the park twice a week and once on weekends. They have a backyard, but she likes to climb, and the transient nature of Brad’s job makes buying an elaborate structure seem silly. She loves the park though, running the show as she directs the other kids. He’s fairly certain he’s going to have to intervene at some point, break things up before they start smuggling Skittles or declare war on the surrounding neighborhoods.

The other parents – Moms mostly – watch him. He’s been told he’s good looking often enough that he understands that people look at him. The difference now is that they look at him with Grace and try to figure out his story. He can practically hear them – widowed, divorced, Mr. Mom – and he can see them look for a ring. He hasn’t been hit on yet, but he won’t be surprised when it happens. He almost wishes for it, wondering what Grace would say in response, what she’d say if any of them asked her if her daddy was married.

Her daddy.

Brad’s been gone almost a year now. There have been a few calls that Nate will completely disavow all knowledge of, but those have been mostly spent with Grace in Nate’s lap, staring at Brad while he tries to nurture a bond stretched nearly 9,000 miles thin. Nothing even close to ‘I miss you’ or ‘I love you” to Nate, not even a ‘be careful’ to Brad, who would only remind Nate that he’s not _careful_ , he’s a _Marine_.

Grace is always quiet after the calls, which suits Nate. They sit on the couch together and he reads to her – “The Little Princess” lately (And he can hear Brad in his head bitching about reading that to her, about coming home to find her dressed in pink, frilly dresses.) – and, eventually she crawls up into his lap and cries silently until she falls asleep. He strokes her hair and tells her Brad – Daddy – loves her, misses her. He doesn’t know if he helps her. He knows it doesn’t do a goddamned thing for him.

Poke’s cousin’s wife watches Grace on the rare occasions Nate works outside the house, teaching her Spanish. Eva doesn’t seem to understand who Nate is, so she teaches Grace to call him _papa_. Nate closes his eyes the first time it happens, and asks Eva to stop. She nods and says she understands. Poke swears that Eva’s got a PhD in Mexico, but Nate’s past believing him given that even Nate fucking knows how to say ‘uncle’ in Spanish. Still, at least Nate doesn’t have to listen to both her _and_ Tony bitching about the white man. He can live with Eva’s _papa Nate_ without killing the only decent babysitter he’s found.

Brad’s two week leave gets cancelled when a series of suicide bombers take out a third of the Stryker regiment. When he calls, he’s black with dirt and other things Nate doesn’t want to think about. His hair is gray-blond when he strips off his Kevlar, staring at Nate with those blue eyes, rimmed with red. Brad apologizes, but he doesn’t explain. Nate’s got enough connections that he doesn’t have to. Brad doesn’t ask for Grace and Nate doesn’t offer to wake her. He hadn’t told her Brad was coming, so to her, he’ll just still be gone.

Nate knew he was coming, so he knows what he’s missing. It’s like a pure, sharp ache in his gut, a bigger empty space in their bed. He can’t stomach the park that first Saturday – can’t take the looks and the women and the thinly veiled come-ons that pass as offers for coffee. Grace crawls into the bed next to him and lays on Brad’s pillow, looking at Nate with those too familiar eyes.

“You miss Daddy, uncle Nate?”

“Yeah.” The words are hard to get out, thick in his throat. “I miss your daddy.”

“Me too.” She sits up then, crossing her legs, propping her elbows on her knees. “Daddy fight bad guys.”

Nate nods, not trusting his voice at all.

“Daddy a good guy.”

“Yes.” Nate closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Yes. Yes, he is.”

“Good guys win. Daddy come home!” She smiles and it hits Nate hard in the chest that he loves this little girl, loves her father. “You be a little princess too!”

“I…” Nate shakes his head and frowns. “What?”

“Daddy come home to his little princess! You be little princess too!”

Nate looks at Grace for a long moment before pushing the flyaway hair out of her eyes. He smiles and shrugs. “Let’s keep that between us, okay?”

Grace smiles her father’s devastating smile, giving him a firm salute. “Woger that, sir.”  



End file.
